About Carol L. Skolnick, M.A.
Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie
“Living out of painful beliefs is akin to walking through brambles
in the dark; we wonder why we are lost and blocked and hurting when we are so sure we know the way. To clear my path, I have to be able to see what obstructs it. Inquiry is at once a compass, a scythe and a lantern, giving light and direction in the wilderness of the unquestioned mind."
—Carol L. Skolnick
A two-time graduate and frequent staff member of Byron Katie's School for The Work, I began facilitating Transformational Inquiry in 2002, and was among the first group of facilitators worldwide to receive the new Certified Facilitator credential from BKI in 2007. Prior to this, I worked as a high school English teacher, an award-winning copywriter, a Reiki practitioner, a creative marketing consultant, and an occasional amateur performer of standup comedy. I am also an ordained Universal Life Church minister and a widely published author.
This is by far the best job I’ve ever
had. Each day I am privileged to
witness epiphanies, the lightening of
loads and the end of bondage to belief
as my clients open to the gentler
polarity of mind and discover that what
they thought was done to them was done for them…and begin to notice that the worst that can happen is often (if not always) the very best that can happen. When we question what we believe, we drop into the place of not knowing, which is the wisdom of the heart. Realizing the truth behind our tales of woe, we come to know and to live out of our true nature, which is secure, loving, peaceful, present and available. I am honored to offer a safe and sacred space where this noticing can occur.
Carol’s Story
Depression was my faithful companion from an early age and until I found Byron Katie's Work, I had no lasting way out. The only child in a family where we all three raged at and abused each other, I felt lonely, unloved, misunderstood, afraid, and sometimes I simply wanted to die. As a young woman, bright and capable as I was, my mental state continued to deteriorate. I hated myself, hated my life, and often I prayed to a God I didn't really believe in to take me out of my hell. Each day required a supreme effort to leave my apartment, but the dread of becoming like my defeated mother, who rarely left her bed, kept me moving.
In my early 20s, fearful of breaking down, I sought professional help. I was told my condition was biological, largely hereditary, and that I would need a combination of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication for the rest of my life. Therapy and medication helped me to function, but I was still left with my stressful thoughts. Exotic supplements, diet, and exercise helped, but I couldn't keep the discipline going; eventually I'd fall back into self-destructive patterns of too much food, too much sleep, self-cutting, enraged outbursts, and despair of ever being okay. I sought refuge in dysfunctional romantic relationships and eastern spirituality, taking on a Sanskrit name and the identity of a deeply devotional yogini, hoping that “guru’s grace” would release my pain. Then, in rapid succession, I lost my father, my job, my health...and my faith.
Eventually, I found some relief through advaita vedanta, the Indian school of nondual philosophy. Advaita teaches that what we are has nothing to do with our self-limiting concepts. After I left my guru, a friend encouraged me to go to satsang, where we sat with teachers and inquired into the nature of the mind. Slowly I began to trust the process of resting in present moment awareness; but outside of satsang, I experienced no lasting peace.
In December of 2000, a friend en route to India left a book at my apartment that I assured her I did not want to read, about an ordinary American woman who had risen out of the depths of despair into peace and clarity. I kept looking at the book as one might glance back at a grisly car accident. What I read in it amazed me: here was another human being exactly like my mother—agoraphobic, depressed, enraged, addicted, bedridden, hopeless. The woman—Byron Katie—had been what I was desperately afraid of becoming, and yet she had gotten out of the bed. I didn't quite understand how Katie had turned her life around, but I knew that whatever it was she was offering, I was going to do it; I'd tried everything else.
Soon afterwards, I attended a workshop with Katie and sat opposite her on a stage as she questioned my religion of suffering. The Work, I discovered, stopped the mind’s chatter like meditation does, while simultaneously calling its bluff. I began to experience the shakiness of the stressful foundations on which I had built my life and to find my true strength on the other side of belief. Men should/shouldn’t…. I’m getting old. My body is ugly. I need a partner. My parents ruined my life. Then I turned my thoughts around and realized I was what I believed my “perpetrators” to be; I wanted them to do for me what I couldn't do for myself. I found my part in my misery and loneliness. It all made total sense and I began to fall out of depression and into love.
Here was everything I had hoped to receive from any therapy, spiritual practice or relationship—and I wanted more. For months, day and night, I listened to recordings of Katie facilitating The Work. Later that year I attended The School for The Work as a participant. Afterwards I went again as a staff volunteer. Within one year of receiving The Work, I left therapy, with my doctor’s blessings.
Many people were attracted to The Work after the publication of Katie’s book, Loving What Is. I started an inquiry group in New York City, seeking mutual support…and ended up giving introductory programs and facilitating individuals. Soon after, I received invitations to bring The Work to other towns, and eventually to other countries.
My clients and workshop attendees have included couples in crisis…warring business partners…life coaches and therapists…seminary students…people suffering from depression, agoraphobia, AIDS, chronic pelvic pain, body dysmorphic disorder, addictions, and autism... parents…business leaders and managers…TV personalities...a former Colombian guerilla...artists and writers...people at odds with their job, their government, their religion, their families, their communities...and hundreds of others motivated by the love of truth. I have been interviewed about The Work for television and radio, and my articles about inquiry have appeared on the web and in magazines, journals and newspapers all over the world, including AHP Perspective, networkingforprofessionals.com, Diet & Fitness, and The Noumenon Journal: Nondual Perspectives on Transformation.
In addition to my private practice, you'll often find me facilitating at the Hotline and serving on the volunteer staff of The School for The Work, supporting those in the beginning stages of their journey home to themselves while continuing to deepen my own practice of inquiry.
"Carol Skolnick shows a penetrating insight into the simple, but all-too-often elusive matter of awakening into clarity. Furthermore, she exhibits great depth in her understanding of Byron Katie's remarkable transformative tool The Work." —Dr. Kriben Pillay, Editor
The Noumenon Journal, South Africa
